Portland Man…

Hey man i need to get home from portland…. you got some change?

I was just trying to get a few bucks and i got flagged and removed.

help me out man?

arizona sucks man

hey govenuh we aint lovin ya

Hey are all you government folks in Arizona on crack?

you got a dollar man?

hey man got some change

cmon man give me some change. Hey man don’t tell me to get a job until the constitution has a right to employment in it…. so cough up some change man… consider it an investment….

http://www.alchemicalmedia.com

whats goin on man if you crash the economy you get a bonus if you ask for 50 cents to close to an atm you get arrested… im confused man…

hey you got a dollar?

Hey man seriously help me out

You know you got sum change man just a little look man sponsor a spange…. i just need like 5 bucks man help me out

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alchemicalmedia/sets/72157622649377855/show/

alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com

proof ghosts are real

help out the ghost man?

new fan mail

So I was spangin craigslist and I met this fan… This is awesome
……………………………………………………………………………………
From: Matt Brown
To:alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
(I’M leaving out all the email’s that the sender left exposed in this email)
Sent: Mon, December 14, 2009 2:38:25 PM
Subject: Let ME Shop For YOU!

What We Have to Offer
CMC Industries Grocery Delivery

Tired of the grocery store lines? Could you use a little extra time in your day? If so, CMC Industries can help you with your needs. Give us your shopping list and we will pick your items up and deliver them right to your door for a small fee. Listed below are our fees:
Orders under $300.00 – $15.00
Orders over $300.00 – 5.5% of receipt total (ex. A receipt showing a total of $301.00 would be assessed a fee of 16.56)
Additional Grocery Store – $2.50 per store
Specialty store (ex. Best Buy, Walgreens etc.) – $4.75 per store
Liquor Store Pick-up – $6.50
Per mile charge – $0.40/mile ( total mileage during trip)
Simply email or call in your shopping list and instructions by 8pm and most orders will be filled the next day.
As of now we are trying to build a customer base before we go on full speed. If you or someone you know may be interested in our services or have any questions/comments, please don’t hesitate to contact us at any time.
At this time we can only accept cash or check.
Hours of Operation: 8am-8pm Monday thru Saturday
Matthew Brown
mbrowncmc@hotmail.com
(903) 360-3251

Matthew Brown
(903)360-3251
—————————————————————————————————————
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:18:53 -0800
From: alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
To: matty1988tjc@hotmail.com;

how about just giving me a dollar instead of the spam man…help me out with some change man? like Mccluhan(sp?) ssaid man the medium is the message….

http://www.alchemicalmedia.blogspot.com
http://www.alchemicalmedia.com
——————————————————————————————————–
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Mon, December 14, 2009 6:43:10 PM
Subject: RE: Let ME Shop For YOU!

What? See dude heres the thing. Im a legit business. So dont assume its spam. disect the word assume and maybe you will see what one does when they assume. Thanks for wasting both your time and mine and maybe we can do business.

Matt
————————————————————————————————————————

From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/19/2009 4:38:33 AM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
yeah man we can do bizness mine works like this

I say hey man can you spare sum change and you say sure dude…. and then you go to
www.alchemicalmedia.com
and click enter then you will see a paypal button click on that and deposit 2 bucks alright awesome thanks man

THE OMMITTED REPLY CONTAINED A FILE ATTACHMENT MY RESPONSE FOLLOWS

Date: Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:19:56 -0800
From: alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
To: matty1988tjc@hotmail.com
thanks man but yer gonna have to paste yer message in the email text cant read it

———————————————————————————————————————
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Sat, December 19, 2009 1:50:51 PM
Subject: RE: Let ME Shop For YOU!

Are you crazy or are you actually special? I was under the impression that you are a proffesional what with a buisness email and whatnot. Do you own the buisiness? If no, who does? If you were my employee I would fire you if I found out you sent such emails filled with slang and gramatical incorrectness. Sum? Bizness? Come on man, are you 8 years old? And why would I give you two dollars? Are you that desperate? Also since you are obviously the business man of the century, do you have any advice on starting one? Id be grateful for any words of wisdom. Oh and next time please refer to this email if you need some spellings of words such as business. I hate reading illiteracy. Im sorry i have bothered you by trying to promote my business.Have an awesome day!

—————————————————————————————————————————-

From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/19/2009 11:53:11 PM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
thanks man i guess i need help with my bizness could i get 20 bucks fer a dictionary man? wait make it fourty i wanna git a thesaurus too
http://www.alchemicalmedia.blogspot.com

————————————————————————————————————-
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Sat, December 19, 2009 6:58:33 PM
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!

you are fuckin dumb man. im sorry i wasted my time with you. ———- Sent from my Verizon Wireless Smartphone

———————————————————————————————————————

From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/20/2009 3:41:16 AM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
hey man thanks fer wastin the time maybe you can waste a buck fifty too?
http://www.alchemicalmedia.com

———————————————————————————————————————
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Sat, December 19, 2009 11:40:45 PM
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!

ok one more question. what the hell would you do with a dollar fifty? buy a condom so you have less of a chance of bringing more of you into thr world? no seriously whats it for? ———- Sent from my Verizon Wireless Smartphone
—————————————————————————————————————————-

From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/20/2009 5:20:10 AM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
probably buy a coffee in the morning.. you got some change?
http://www.alchemicalmedia.com/spangetheworld

———————————————————————————————————————-
From:MattBrown
To:AlchemicalMedia
Sent:Sun,December20,20092:18:39AM
Subject:Re:LetMEShopForYOU!

nice talkin yo ya idiot ———- Sent from my Verizon Wireless Smartphone

From: Alchemical Media
To: Matt Brown
alright man well god bless you sure you dont got 3.50
http://www.alchemicalmedia.blogspot.com
———————————————————————————————————————–
From:MattBrown
To:alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
Sent:Sun,December20,200911:54:25AM
Subject:RE:LetMEShopForYOU!

know what? you must want your business name smashed because i swear thats exactly what im gonna do if you send me one more email asking for money. You must not be making any money at all. Maybe its because your documentary is USELESS! If you have time to sit here and go back and forth with me like this then you dont need money to make a documentary. Get off your ASS and make it. Stop Begging. Go Fuck a Chicken. I Dont care. Nobody will give you money when they know all you do is sit on your ass and beg for money. Dont do it again man.
——————————————————————————————————————————
From:Alchemical Media
To: Matt Brown
thanks man sure you dont got 1.25 i need to get a bus

THE END (SO FAR….)

cat trapped in haunted inter dimensional space house needs help

this cat contacted me via mental telepathy and directed me to send this message to the four corners of our world.

help the cat?

see more and give me a dollar

visit my new stereograph site and give me a dollar you know you got one.

http://www.alchemicalmedia.com/stereographsite

alchemicalmedia.com

help a deformed family

Look man we went swimming and i found this barrel that said toxic something or other… it was rusty.  Anyway man I thought it was probably high fructose corn syrup and I knew i shouldn’t eat that crap but I was hungry… it turned out to be a barrel of McDonalds fry oil mixed with high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, EDTA, ground styrofoam, and some red dye.  Now look at us man… you think you could help me out with some change?

panhandler on tv

here it is again man you got some change?
cmon man